I feel like this comic glorifies a victim mentality. I know we all feel this way sometimes (this person won’t accede to my desire, how awful they are! sigh and lament), but my dad always taught me that you can’t control what other people or say or do to you. The only thing you can control is how you react to it.
I know a reply to this might be, “It’s not glorifying it, we’re just commiserating over this shared experience!” If we’re going to commiserate over it, though, let’s also take a moment to step back and recognize a childish and unproductive behavior and remember that getting upset about things other people say and do isn’t healthy or useful.
More useful is getting over it and focusing on just being the best people we can be. Our own selves. Not getting derailed because someone won’t apologize for something they did unintentionally.
(This reminds me about a study I saw recently on reddit. If I recall correctly, it suggested people who grow up without the pressure of bullies are better at bouncing back from and shrugging off bully attacks. Because they don’t let it get to them as much. They do better in life as a result.)
Getting upset over things people say or do may not be useful, but it isn’t exactly something you can stop yourself from doing in certain circumstances. It’s a lot easier to say “get over it” than it is to actually get over something, and it’s a lot easier to admit that you did something hurtful out of ignorance and apologize than willfully start an argument about it and hurt someone’s feelings even more. It’s easy for me to shrug off some things, but I reblogged this because it’s something I can commiserate with in very specific circumstances- when people who I usually trust make closed-minded remarks about my race or sexuality and exacerbate the problem in order to avoid admitting that they hurt me. It’s silly to expect an apology from a stranger, but when someone you know who professes to understand you refuses to understand certain parts of you or apologize for being hurtful, it’s a breach of trust that could have been completely avoided with an acknowledgement and apology. I know if I was put in a situation where my ignorance hurt someone’s feelings, I would hope that I would be able to admit it and apologize, rather than hold their catharsis hostage for the sake of my pride. The situation is important to keep in mind. It’s great if you’re able to not let anything bother you, and it’s a useful skill to have, but it’s equally important to be mindful of others and of your own shortcomings.